Let’s take a quick moment to look in the rear view mirror at June, Gay Pride Month.
Not looking to propagandize for or against but afford an opportunity to learn. At the time of this writing, the letters of the alphabet are LGBTQIA which stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual or Ally.
I must admit that I wasn’t always as shall we say “enlightened” about the Gay community. Don’t get me wrong I STILL consider myself in the weeds and lacking plenty of knowledge on this subject matter. Keeping an open mind and being willing to accept differences and changing times, I think, has been key for me.
Please understand that I have my own personal beliefs but I don’t force them on others and I prefer that same courtesy to be reciprocated.
Over the years I have grown/matured on this matter. I remember when straight guys would get highly upset and want to fight if another guy “liked” him. I never understood that rage. To me it was simply someone found you attractive and they simply were not your type. No need to get bent all out of shape.
In my never ending quest to seek knowledge, I sought out someone within the community to address a few of my concerns that could possibly enlightened more than just me.
Kae, a 57 year old NC woman was gracious enough to answer a few of my questions.
Q) What do you consider yourself)?:
A: Old School Lesbian
Q) When did you know you were lesbian?:
A: when I was 8. The smell of women made me happy.
Q) What age did you come out?:
A: Came out at the age of 16, I had a girlfriend at that time also, that is why I wanted to come out.
Q) What were the circumstances for you to come out?:
A: I had a girlfriend, who I was in love with, so I felt I should tell my sister.
Q) You have a sister?:
A: Yes, I have a twin she’s bisexual. She loves women more, but says men are easier. She would prefer a girlfriend, but she said they have to many hang-ups.
Q) Was there any trauma that may have led to it?:
A: No trauma. The smell of a woman makes my body move, just like the right person who makes you fall in love. No, I just love women just like boys love girls. I didn’t know I couldn’t like girls at first until someone said something about it. Like why are you sitting so close to her, so I moved away from her a little bit.
Q) Have you ever had interest in the opposite sex?:
A: No, I tried men, but no, I never really wanted any of them, I like men as friends, but not for sex, no thank you.
Q) What is your take on ladies that have children then come out as lesbian?
A: Most woman want children, gay or straight, Some gay women will with get with a man just to get pregnant. Some studs I’ve known back in the day, will end up with a man, cause she sick of women. I don’t understand why children have anything to do with being gay, most people know who they really are inside, whether they face themselves or not. Life is very messy, I think a lot of people are more confused today than ever. Me myself, I don’t want a woman with kids. You get attached to the children, then when you break up you can’t see the kids anymore or the woman uses the child to get you to come see her, and it just all goes to Hell. So when you ask me this very, very question, I have so many answers for this question.
Q) Do you have a type, if so what is it?
A: I love all women. I’ve dated all types, white woman are nice n easy-going, but I love black women the most. The hard part with them is the shame and Bible stuff they’ve been tough. It is hard to enjoy sexually with all the rules, you have to break through.
Q) How do you know who to approach, are there signs?:
A: I’ll approach anyone I like, but you get a feeling from a woman who is attracted to you, the way they look at you as you pass by, or the eye contact. Sometimes they’ll touch you if you’re lucky.
Q) What if a guy is showing interest in you, how do you deal with it?:
A: I’ll say hello and keep it moving, or if they don’t get it, I just say no thanks, be1cause if you tell them you’re a lesbian, they get more excited and want to bug you even more.
Q) Your thoughts on transgender athletes and why?:
A: I will fight for them because they are a part of the gay community, but you are not a woman, no matter what. If you are not born a girl, then you are a man. Why do they hate real women so much, yet they copy us in a way, a lot of us don’t even look like. Transwomen should never be in women sports at all, no matter what, you’re transwoman and still strong as a man. Real Women have nothing of their own.
Q) Do you think it’s more difficult being LGBTQ as an African American?:
A: No, I think life is hard for Black people in this slave country anyway, but the way black men treat black women is really sad to me, we are the only ones who have our men saying they hate us, weird. Today every gay man wants a black man and most lesbians want a black woman.
Q) Are you usually the pursuer or the one being pursued?:
A: I’m both. If the woman is fine, I’m going for it, but when I’m online looking to date, I’m pursued by the boy looking ones more, but I like the more girly like ones. So it hard to find who I want to date.
Q) Are you spiritual/religious, if so how does that reconcile?:
A: I am a Catholic girl survivor. When I was young, I believed in all the shame they put on women and the self hate. It made me feel and think my only worth was to marry a man and make him happy, nothing more, I tried to live that lie, but I started to feel like death was better. Yet once I met her, my whole world opened up, I found love in her, and it took me a while, to believe God loved me too or why else would I be here. I am a God, I found myself, I stopped hating myself, I love everyone I see now, and if I can just have a kind word for them, so they can feel good then, that’s one step for me as a God. Help others find self love when you can. It’s not about hate, shame, thinking you’re better than others because you can quote the Bible, If we are all made in the image of God, therefore I am.. Give love, show love as your God says in your Bible. I finally feel free, unafraid of the next step in life.
Q) What would you like people to know that we didn’t cover?:
A: Be kind to each other, get offline and talk to someone face to face. You’ll find real love if you try to be real as you can. Stop the diva stuff it’s boring. You’re not always the best thing walking in the room.
Well, there you have it. I learned a thing or two and I hope you did as well. I’d like to thank Kae for allowing me to pick her brain and providing “her” answers to allow me and hopefully you, to gain some knowledge.